“Leading from the Inside Out” is a special edition series of “The Leadership Perspective,” created to address the existing gaps in formal leadership training by providing millennial and emerging leaders with information and resources they can use to effectively build the qualities that are necessary for successful leadership. Each article in this series features actionable advice from both a newly emerged leader and a seasoned professional who will also speak at a subsequent “TEA Talk.” This 30-minute virtual event will encourage discussion and meaningful engagement on that week’s leadership topic to actively improve your skills with the goal of advancing your career.
The newly emerged leader and seasoned professional featured in this week’s article are:
- Jessica Baier, Vice President of Brand Success at TryNow
- Dr. Lalia Rach, Founder and Partner of Rach Enterprises
Millennials are known for their confidence, positive outlook, and candid nature in the workplace. They tend to be more collaborative than competitive and are task-oriented more than time-oriented. This generation craves feedback and coaching. As the most-educated generation, millennials are fueled by a strong desire to grow and learn. Having grown up in an era of explosive technological advancement, millennials developed the ability to quickly and openly adapt to change. However, they also experienced tragic domestic events, including 9-11, Hurricane Katrina, and the Great Recession, during their formative years. As a result, they continue to worry about finances, gainful employment, and job stability, all of which contribute to their reputation as the most stressed generation.
Based on this description, it should be no surprise that millennials are also highly aware of emotional intelligence (EI) and its invaluable influence on professional growth and happiness. In fact, according to the 2017 Work & Happiness Study by Levo Institute, 80% of millennial respondents believe that developing emotional intelligence is the essential component of their career growth. While I was pleased and astonished to discover this striking statistic, more important is that millennials understand both what it means to be emotionally intelligent and recognize the impact this leadership quality has on their performance and professional advancement.
In his award-winning Harvard Business Review article, American psychologist and EI-guru Daniel Goleman explains that the most effective leaders have a high degree of emotional intelligence. He says, “without it, a person can have the best training in the world, an incisive, analytical mind, and an endless supply of smart ideas, but he still won’t make a great leader.” Goleman’s research revealed that emotional intelligence is twice as important as other factors, such as technical skills and IQ, when assessing performance, regardless of job level. Even more, he found that, “the higher the rank of a person considered to be a star performer, the more emotional intelligence capabilities showed up as the reason for his or her effectiveness.”
For emerging leaders aspiring to be in leadership positions, emotional intelligence is a must-have attribute and skill. So, what exactly is EI, and how can you improve it?
By dictionary definition, emotional intelligence is “the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.” While this definition is useful, let’s look at what emotional intelligence means for everyday practitioners.
Jessica Baier, Vice President of Brand Success at TryNow explains, “emotional intelligence means exactly what it says – having the ability to recognize emotions, within yourself and within others, and the impact of those emotions…at its core, emotional intelligence is the ability to be dynamic. If you have high emotional intelligence, you can read emotions in yourself and others, and adjust the action you take accordingly to get the outcome you want.” Dr. Lalia Rach, Founder and Partner at Rach Enterprises adds, “it is the measure of your professional maturity and can be seen in the consistency to which your approach colleagues, staff and bosses.”
Together, these definitions include elements of what Goleman categorizes into five components of emotional intelligence. Let’s now take a look at each component individually in order to help you better recognize, identify, and improve the characteristics of emotional intelligence within yourself:
1. Self-Awareness
Jessica shares, “I think the first step to emotional intelligence is self-awareness. How do I show up? How do my emotions manifest themselves? What’s the impact I have on people? How do others perceive me?” When you have self-awareness, you can then recognize and understand your emotions, as well as the effect(s) they can have on others.
Tips for improvement: You can strengthen your self-awareness through internal reflection and external feedback. Create the time to evaluate yourself and seek feedback from others so that you can measure your own assessment against that of your boss and peers. To practice self-reflection, Jessica suggests, “every time you have a meeting, ask yourself, what is my objective and what is my plan for achieving it? Then, after the meeting, debrief with yourself. What did I do well? What could have gone better? Why do I think things happened the way they did?”
2. Self-Regulation
Self-regulation represents the notion of “think before you do.” As Lalia puts it, “[an emotionally mature professional] is not into ‘high drama,’ realizes not everything is about them, is rarely defensive, and limits how often they make assumptions about others.” In short, leaders who self-regulate can work to understand and not judge. They act thoughtfully, not impulsively.
Tips for improvement: When working towards shifting your impulse reactions into thoughtful responses, remember to pause and breathe. Discover what helps you contain your emotions – perhaps this means taking a walk, calling your partner or friend, or taking a coffee break. Recognizing your excuses is equally as important. Lalia suggests, “be honest with yourself. Where are your gaps and blind spots about your professional maturity? Where do you blame others rather than seeing your responsibility? Where do you avoid being the professional you really want to be?”
3. Motivation
One trait that almost every successful leader has is the ability to motivate both themselves and the people around them. As Goleman so perfectly states, those with high leadership and EI potential “are motivated by a deeply embedded desire to achieve for the sake of achievement.” Motivated leaders are driven to achieve and exceed their goals. They do not willingly accept the status quo, yet they remain optimistic through times of failure. As Lalia says, “challenges and obstacles are not personal but a function of being in business.”
Tips for improvement: Avoid mundane activities by exploring new routines and approaches to everyday tasks. Do not be afraid to ask questions and do not accept responses such as, “because we always have done it that way” or “that’s just the way we do it.” Building your motivation means being curious and passionate about learning.
4. Empathy
Jessica continues by saying, “the next step is empathy. How can I tell what others are feeling? What do they care about? What are their motivations, trigger points, and communication styles?” When you are empathetic, you can understand the emotional state of other people and you are highly capable of adjusting your own approach accordingly. Often confused with sympathy, empathy is not only the ability to care for others but also the ability to sense and understand what they are experiencing.
Tips for improvement: Work to become an active listener. Active listening means giving someone your full attention and suppressing your own intentions and instincts. It also means extending beyond what you hear. As Jess suggests, “pick one thing you want to improve on. Maybe it’s noticing the body language of the people in the room. Maybe it’s asking a question before you respond. Try it, see how it goes, and then refine and try again.”
5. Social Skill
The culmination of emotional intelligence is social skill, which Goldeman defines as,“friendliness with a purpose: moving people in the direction you desire.” Leaders with strong social skills are highly proficient in managing relationships, tapping into their networks, and building rapport.
Tips for improvement: Social Skill cannot be improved without the previous four components as defined by Goleman. It evolves from self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, and empathy. Pull yourself away from your desk and out of your protected space. Have conversation with those you pass in the hallway, stand with in the elevator, and meet at the coffee station. By exposing yourself, others will learn to value you as you value yourself.
Some of you may have recognized your current limitations while reading this article, and some of you may not have. Regardless, it is important to recognize that emotional intelligence can be a learned trait. Lalia reminds us to “realize changing habits and behavior take time and effort. This is work that matters in the long-run.” Jessica supports this thought, adding, “I believe that everyone is born with a baseline level of emotional intelligence, but I also strongly believe this is a muscle that can be strengthened if you’re intentional in your practice.” Improving your emotional intelligence is a non-stop process that will continue throughout your entire career.
Click to register for the November 20th TEA Talk (12:30 – 1pm CST) with Jessica and Lalia. Together, this article and the TEA Talk will help you think about, practice, and refine your leadership skills.
