“Leading from the Inside Out” is a special edition series of “The Leadership Perspective,” created to address the existing gaps in formal leadership training by providing millennial and emerging leaders with information and resources they can use to effectively build the qualities that are necessary for successful leadership. Each article in this series features actionable advice from both a newly emerged leader and a seasoned professional who will also speak at a subsequent “TEA Talk.” This 30-minute virtual event will encourage discussion and meaningful engagement on that week’s leadership topic to actively improve your skills with the goal of advancing your career.
The newly emerged leader and seasoned professional featured in this week’s article are:
- Gabe Feingold, Senior Product Marketing Manager at LinkedIn
- Matt Phillips, Global Head at Waze Local
Research shows that a successful career depends as much on your relationships as it does on your hard skills. In fact, according to data from multiple global surveys, relationships are central to a person’s sense of purpose and well-being in the workplace. Largely defined and recognized as career-oriented, millennials are connected around the clock with an extensive network that is strategically assembled to bolster their success. This generation recognizes the importance of relationships and desires deep connections far more than mere surface-level interactions. However, their expectations have not translated into reality. LinkedIn data shows that, unfortunately, 49% of millennials struggle to maintain professional relationships as they are “unsure how to reconnect” or “don’t know what to say.” The result is a deteriorated network that can have disastrous effects on career growth and professional success.
If you are thinking, “that’s me!” you have come to the right place. The inextricable link between your professional relationships and your career success is irreplaceable and cannot be undervalued. As Matt Phillips, Global Head at Waze Local, explains, “keeping and building strong relationships has, with certainty, allowed me to progress in my career. As I reflect back, nearly all the roles and jobs I’ve had derived not from my [professional] accomplishments, but from support, encouragement, referrals from others.” Gabe Feingold, Senior Product Marketing Manager at LinkedIn, adds, “creating close relationships of mutual benefit with my colleagues has been vital to achieving my own personal goals, developing a professional brand, and influencing my organizations teams’ strategies.”
As an emerging leader, there is no time like the present to build a strong network of enduring and effective relationships. Your goal should then become turning the seemingly uncertain and dreadful burden of cultivating relationships into a positive and valuable asset. My solution for this problem is learning how to actively relate.
As I define it, active relating is the ability to initiate, build, and maintain relationships with colleagues at all levels both within the organization and outside of it. At its core, active relating is the deliberate practice of integrating social skills with targeted intention in order to empathize with, connect to, and ultimately influence others. The combination of your day-to-day actions, words, and attitudes helps establish rapport with others, which constructs the foundation of your network and relationships. For emerging leaders, this is fundamental to career growth and professional success. In other words, if you are not currently working to actively relate on a daily basis, now is the time to start.
Matt and Gabe discuss three mantras for emerging leaders who wish to improve their ability to cultivate relationships through active relating:
Help Others to Help Yourself
Matt shares what he believes to be the biggest mistake emerging leaders often make when they channel active relating for career growth: the “who in my network can help me grow?” mindset. As he puts it, “by design, most experienced managers have tens, hundreds, or more reports (or folks in their network) and this type of ‘help me’ mentality is usually not scalable and rarely results in successfully strengthening of relationships.”
Instead, he recommends taking a deep dive into evaluating and understanding how you can both help and add value to the benefit of others. “Career minded emerging leaders need to view their network as an investment opportunity and keep making deposits consistently and with clear purpose, [that is] how can I be as helpful to my network as possible?”
When you focus on helping others, helping yourself becomes an organic process. In other words, by helping others, you expose yourself to new opportunities and increased responsibility, ultimately resulting in professional growth. Take it from Matt, “I am much more inclined to help someone progress that is adding value to my ecosystem than asking to take from it.”
Tips for Improvement: Relationships are based on how you are related and relevant to another person. Spend time thinking about mutual value in a relationship and how to achieve and maximize it. Be sure to clearly explain your intentions and invite dialogue in order to build a shared understanding of why your relationship matters. This makes you relevant and adds value because it allows you to cultivate a relationship that aligns with the other person and the specific situation.
Small Efforts, Big Rewards
Emerging leaders who are equipped with an others-oriented mindset are also able to recognize that every single action matters. Gabe explains, “one of the least talked about drivers of success in the workplace is being liked: people are more easily persuaded by people they like and are more likely to help you out if you’ve helped them out in the past. Invest time early getting to know the folks that you work with and help them as much as you can.”
Being likeable does not necessitate a formal leadership title. In fact, anyone can learn to be likeable! It is also not a sign of weakness. Instead, it is a point of strength and can be your most reliable asset. By seeking out and actively engaging with others on both a personal and professional level, you are diffusing both passion and compassion throughout your environment. Ultimately, the relatively small effort it takes to connect with others on a basic human level distinguishes you as a leader and fosters a productive environment.
Tips for Improvement: Pay attention to other people’s accomplishments and take the time to tell them you noticed their efforts and praise them. Strengthen this connection by asking about their lives and interests outside of work. Listen in a way that communicates you are engaged, paying attention, and genuinely care. Open yourself to others by telling relatable and relevant stories. When you feel it is appropriate, share your feelings. And, don’t forget to smile. It’s an easy way to boost your likeability!
The Golden Rule
To cultivate relationships, Gabe’s motto is applying the golden rule to the workplace, “treat others at work how you like to be treated at work.” Simply put, how you treat others and how they respond to you matters. Your behavior and interactions in the workplace can contribute to building deeper relationships, creating a more positive environment, establishing psychological safety, and boosting accountability.
He continues, “across my interactions with colleagues, I try to embody the qualities that demonstrate the actions that I like in a teammate. Take a deep look at the behaviors your colleagues need to [have] for you to be successful [as well as] the things you like most about working with certain people and be them.” Identifying the behaviors and people you want to emulate is paramount to your own growth and development. Additionally, it can also serve as a strong foundation for initiating a relationship. Do not hesitate to reach out to a person you admire, no matter their rank or position. Tell them how they, and their work, have influenced you and ask for a short meeting so that you can learn how you can help them. This might feel risky and uncomfortable, but that discomfort can lead to a mutually meaningful and valuable relationship.
Tips for Improvement: Take time to reflect on your behavior and interactions over the past month. Have you presented your best self? Have you made others feel valued, respected, and worthy? Are you spending time with people who share your values or challenge your thinking with valuable insights? Are your relationships fulfilling? Do they motivate you? Do not undervalue the impact of your behavior and the importance of your relationships. It’s the who, not the what, that leads to personal and professional growth.
Active relating is deliberate, and it can, undoubtedly, be difficult. It can also transform your career and your life. As an emerging leader, your desire to connect with others, learn from them, help them in return, and broaden your network, is crucial. Learning how to make your desires known to others takes significant time, effort, and practice but learning how to effectively cultivate relationships is a skill that you will use throughout the course of your life.
Click to register for the January 28th TEA Talk (4 – 4:30pm CST) with Gabe and Matt. Together, this article and the TEA Talk will help you think about, practice, and refine your leadership skills.
